Unintentional Streaker
by whitem
Summary: Ron and Kim are caught by Kimmie's Dad, and Ron... runs away.  Rated T for mild language and Full Frontal Nudity.  Parents, cover your children's eyes.  Oneshot...


Here's another one shot that was inspired by yet another picture by Ivymae457 over on the Deviant Art site. I'm not sure if it's still up on her site, as I couldn't seem to find it. Anyways… Hope y'all like…

Disclaimer: The characters involved in this little… story? It really sucks that I wasn't the one who created them. I just like to put them in interesting… umm… sitches.

Unintentional Streaker

James Possible pulled into his driveway at about 4 o'clock in the afternoon, looking forward to a bit of extra time to himself. The last he had heard was that Anne was stuck doing a Cranial By-pass, Kim and Ron were on a mission somewhere, and Jim and Tim were at a friends and not due back until after 6.

The launch that was originally scheduled for today had been scrubbed because of high winds, so James took the opportunity to head home early and just relax doing things around the house that an adult male could only do alone, with no kids, or women-folk around.

Leaving the big garage door open, James parked the Jag in the driveway, since one of things we wanted to do was work on his model of the famous sloop, the USS Enterprise, the original design of the ship that was commissioned in 1776. There were just a couple more sails to attach, and all it would need was a coat of paint.

Walking inside the two-car garage, he glanced at the ship as it majestically sat on its pedestal on his workbench. _Hard to believe I started that 6 months ago._ He absently thought, and unlocked the door leading from the garage into the house. The door led into the wash room, and he saw a basket full of white clothing and other miscellaneous things. He guessed his wife was going to do a load of whites when she got home later, so he mentally made a note to put more of his own socks and underwear into the basket at a later time

James didn't notice the sound until he walked out of the laundry room into the kitchen.

Ka-thunk… Ka-thunk… Ka-thunk…

_What the…?_ James thought as he opened the fridge to get a diet soda. As soon as he opened the can, the sound stopped, and after a moment, started again.

Ka-thunk… Ka-thunk… Ka-thunk…

_Is someone here?_ He thought, and walked from the kitchen into the Living Room, and the sound was definitely louder, and the tempo was just a tad faster.

Ka-thunk.. Ka-thunk.. Ka-thunk…

_Is that coming from… Kimmie's room?_ Suddenly the noise was almost a fever pitch, and it slowly died down to nothing.

Thunk, thunk, thunk… thunk… thunk… (pause) Ka-thunk…

By now he was positive that the strange sound definitely HAD come from his daughter's room, and curiosity got the better of him. James stepped to the foot of the stairs that led to his daughters loft bedroom, and quietly called up.

"Kimmie-cub? Are you here?"

As soon as he spoke, he could immediately here a bit of commotion and a muffled "eep" that was definitely Kim's voice.

"Are you OK Honey?" He took a few steps up and heard even more shuffling, and he thought he heard… _Was that **Ron's** voice?_

"What are you kids doing up there?" He called out, louder than before. James then heard a loud "Smack!" and then a muffled "KP! That hurt!"

Nothing was stopping James from heading up to his daughter's room now. He quickly went up the last few steps, and his head and shoulders shot up through the hole in the floor.

"Daddy!" Kim cried as she was laying in her bed with the covers up to her chin, but he could have swore she was standing next to the bed just a few seconds ago. "Wh… What are doing home so early?"

"The launch was scrubbed…" He said, noticing a rather large lump under the covers next to his daughter on her other side. "Are you… OK, Honey?"

"Uhh… yeah, Daddy, I am. I… was just… taking a nap. Yeah."

"I thought you and Ronald were on a Mission?" He was definitely suspicious of that lump, now that it seemed to have moved closer to his Kimmie.

"We were." Kim quickly said, and one of her hands suddenly disappeared under the covers. Almost immediately he heard a second voice say "Ow".

James looked a his daughter sideways. "Kimmie…? Are you alone?"

"Wh… what do you mean… Daddy?" Kim said with a forced smile, and James saw her suddenly jerk away from that strange hump in the bed.

"Honey…" James said with a serious tone to his voice, "I hope you know that I didn't just fall off the Turnip Truck."

Kim just answered him with another smile that bordered on…

"Ronald…" James suddenly said, in a no-nonsense voice. "I know your there, Ronald."

He then noticed a hairy-toed foot slowly become uncovered. "Kimmie-cub, unless you need to start shaving your feet also, I do believe that you have a bed partner." He paused. "Am I correct?"

Kim shot a glance down at her own feet, and then saw the offending toes her Father had seen. She breathed out, and spoke. "Ron… he knows you're here. He can see your foot"

The bare toes suddenly stiffened, and slowly the foot they were attached to was dragged back underneath the covers. Ron's voice seemed to come from no-where in particular. "Pay no attention to the man under the covers."

At this, James decided to make his move, took the last two steps into the room, immediately went to his daughter's bed, and yanked the covers back, exposing the nearly naked form of his daughter, and a fully nude… Ron Stoppable.

"WTF!?" He literally screamed, and Kim yanked down the long red jersey she had on.

_Is that Ronald's shirt?_ He thought, and then turned his attention to the young blonde boy that was curled almost into a fetal position.

"You're coming with me!" He said and tried to reach out and grab Ron, but missed.

"Waaaaa…!" Was the response from Ron as he leaped from the bed, with all his… manly-ness… exposed. "Mr. Dr. P. Please! I don't want to go to a black hole!"

"A black hole isn't good enough for you, Ronald!" James said as he lunged for Ron, and tripped over the bed, falling across his daughter's legs.

"Daddy!" Kim screamed, and curled her legs up under herself, tucking them inside the over-sized shirt.

"Sorry Dear…" He mumbled, and pushed himself back up to go after Ron again.

James whirled around just in time to see the blonde hair of his target disappear down the stairs. James quickly went after the young teen, who he was POSITIVE had just defiled his one and only daughter! Under HIS roof, no less!

His feet slammed into each step as he gave chase, and James heard his daughter call out, "Don't hurt him Daddy! I Love him!"

After flying down the stairs, James landed on the floor with a thump, and looked around. He then heard a noise in the laundry room off the kitchen, and just as he entered the kitchen, he saw Ron hopping on one foot trying to pull on a pair of underwear. HIS underwear!

"Ronald," James said with a growl, surprising Ron, "Don't… you… dare."

James lunged across the kitchen floor in another attempt to grab this… this… boy, and tripped over a chair. Reaching out, he tried again to grab an arm, or even a foot, but Ron moved at the right time, and all James caught was the waistband of his BVD's.

Ron leaned back trying to hang onto the one thing he really wanted to put on just to cover himself, even if they were… (ugh) already worn. Since bare feet don't give much traction, Ron went down hard on his butt.

He didn't stay there long, since James was now extracting himself from the chair that had so rudely tripped him up. Scrambling back to his feet, Ron was able to shoot out of the laundry room into the garage, and who was pulling in at that time, but Mrs. Dr. P.!

The look on Ron's face was pure horror when he saw who was sitting inside the mini-van in the garage, and he just ran out without looking back. If he had, he would have seen two smaller heads appear in the back window watching him streak out into the sun.

Anne stepped out of the car just as her very disheveled husband entered the garage. "Dear?" She asked. "Was that Ronald running out of here stark naked?"

_That reminds me…_ She thought, _This family of mine is due for their annual physicals._

Next out of the vehicle were Jim and Tim. "Yeah… We didn't know…"

"…That Ron could run that fast."

…x x x x…

"Whew!" Ron said to himself wiping the sweat from his brow. "That was clooo… ahhhh!!! I'm naked!"

Ron wasn't paying any attention as to where he was going when he made the mad dash from the Possible's house. (Which from this day on was to be referred to as 'The Possible Gauntlet'), and as a result found himself standing in the middle of the street without a stitch of clothing on!

Mrs. Mahoney just happened to be driving by at that time, and she couldn't help but stare at the naked boy standing in the middle of the street. As a result, she wasn't paying attention to where she was going and drove up onto the front yard of Mr. McCorkle, who was watering his prize roses. The wheels of the Mercedes M-Class came to rest just inches before crushing a perfect bud that he had been nursing for 3 days.

He walked around the luxury SUV to tell the driver off, but was distracted when he saw the reason why said SUV was parked on his front lawn. Both he and Mrs. Mahoney were now looking at Ron, who was desperately trying to cover himself with his hands. Finally he gave up and ran off down the street towards his house.

"Wasn't that the boy who helped the red-head girl down the street get Tabby out of your tree all those years ago?" He asked the driver after she rolled down her window.

All she could do was slowly nod as she watched the bare bottom disappear behind a large hedge further up the street.

…x x x x…

"I've GOT to find something to wear!" Ron said to himself as he stayed crouched behind the row of Sage bushes. He worked his way along the row towards the back of the nearest house, and then he saw salvation!

Just over the wooden back fence, he saw a clothesline with pants and shirts hanging out to dry. _Mr. Mahoney won't mind, _Thought Ron as he gingerly crawled over the old wooden fence, trying not to get splinters in delicate… areas.

Just as he reached up to the line, Ron heard a curious sound. Then he remembered… Tabby. See… Tabby wasn't your everyday house cat. Tabby was an 8- pound Tomcat who was by now getting up in age, and he had become very… territorial.

Ron had never heard a cat growl before, but he knew just what it was as soon as he heard it. Turning around, Ron saw the large Tomcat slinking up to him, the hair on the cats back was raised, and he definitely looked mad! The cat's ears were plastered flat down on it's head, and Tabby had his teeth bared.

Ron immediately abandoned his attempt at getting clothes, and was now backing slowly away from this almost feral feline. "Rrrooowwwweeerrrrr…."

"Niiice kitty…. P… Pretty kitty… You remember me, don't you? I… I'm Ron? Ron Stoppable? You know… the kid that helped Kim get you out of the big oak in the front yard?"

The cats eyes almost looked like they suddenly had… recognition? Yes, Tabby remembered this boy, most definitely! He had pulled him off that tree limb just before he could take out that pesky Bluebird!

_Naked-boy, you're going down…_Tabby thought, and leaped at him with claws extended. Before he could land and tear flesh from this boy's hide, a large piece of cloth was suddenly wrapped around him, and he was flat on the ground, watching as the naked human made a leap even HE was proud of over the neighbor's fence.

_Too bad that crazy mutt 'Chomps' lived in the backyard of the next house over._ The cat thought as he pulled himself out of the improvised net.

Ron landed in a crouch on the other side of the fence with a thud, and just as he righted himself and started to stand, Ron heard a low growl behind him. This wasn't a cat growl, mind you. It was the low, throaty growl of a large breed dog.

Slowly Ron turned and saw the Pit Bull/Boxer mix, and started to back away very slowly. "H… hey there, Chomps… oh buddy oh pal, oh friend of mine. I don't suppose you could…"

"Grrrrrrrrr…."

"Aaaahhhhhhh!!!"

Ron was able to dodge the first leaping attack of Chomps with ease, and then he scooted around the corner of the house, and saw the gate that led out to the front of the house. He fumbled with the latch trying to get the gate open, and then he heard that growl behind him again.

"Grrrr…"

Fore going the lock, Ron opted to jump the gate as he had the previous two fences, and when he landed on the other side, he cringe at the crash Chomps made when he ran into the gate.

"OK… two more blocks to go." Ron huffed out. "And then I'm golden. No more back yards, so I guess I'm doing the tree to tree, and bush to bush thing."

Looking around the corner of the house, Ron took one step… (squish)" Awww Mannn!" Chomps owner had missed picking up one of the dog's… "Land Mines".

In his attempt to wipe the offending substance off his foot by dragging it on the grass, Ron failed to notice that another car was coming down the road until the last second. He looked up and who did he see, but Kim's dad!

Ron dove behind a large bush, hoping that Mr. Dr. P. hadn't seen him. No such luck. "Ronald…" He heard the stern voice say. "Get in the car."

"Sorry Mr. Dr. P…" Ron said as he huddled behind the leafy bush. "No can do. See, I have a great fear of not knowing what will happen to me after I cross the event horizon."

"Huh?" James had never heard Ronald use space terminology like that before. "Where did you hear that Ronald?"

"I saw the movie last week with Felix!" His voice went higher with tension. "And I don't want to be turned inside out!"

"Ron…" James said, his voice relaxing a bit. "It was just a movie. We really DON'T know what would happen if we were to…" He paused and shook his head. Wait, what am I doing? Ronald… Just get in the car, please.

"Ronald?" What James hadn't noticed was that while he had gone off on a tangent about black holes, Ron had slipped out from behind the bush and was now hopping from tree to tree trying to make it to his house before someone else saw him.

James hit the button to roll the window back up and shook his head in abject amazement. "I just wanted to give the boy a ride home." He muttered to himself.

_Looks like he's almost home, _James thought,_ so I'm heading back to the house and have a little talk with my daughter._

…x x x x…

From Oak to Oak, and Pine to Pine, Ron made his way stealthily towards his house. On one of the trips between trees, he heard something that made him stop dead in his tracks. It was a catcall. But it wasn't from a cat.

Then came the whistle, and whoops and hollers. Then he heard a voice he so did NOT want to hear.

"You know…" Bonnie said, just loud enough for Ron to hear, along with the rest of the cheer squad that was sitting in her Mercedes Convertible. "I always thought a Naked Mole Rat was gross to look at. But as for a Naked Loser… It's so worse!"

If the cheerleaders could read each other's minds… They would have been surprised that each of them had the EXACT same thought. _But MAN that boy is hung…_

Bonnie accelerated away as Ron stood in his front yard, his hands cupped in front of him. He quickly ran through the front door and up to his bedroom, and wasn't seen for the rest of the weekend.

…x x x x…

That evening on the 6 O'clock news…

"Good evening Middleton. This is Tricia Lebowski. There are reports coming in from a suburb of Middleton that there is a streaker running around the neighborhood earlier today. For details, let's go to our Woman on the Street, Summer Gale."

"Thank-you Tricia. I'm Summer Gale, and this is 'Streaker Watch'. We have here a witness who says she saw the streaker. Sir? Can you tell me what happened?"

The man spoke with just a hint of a Southern accent. "Well Tricia, I was working on my prize winning Roses when all of a sudden an SUV came careening onto my front lawn, and almost took out a portion of my rose garden. When I looked up, I saw him standing there in the middle of the road, nakeder than a Jaybird. I then looked back at the driver of the SUV and yelled out, 'Don't look Ethyl!' But it was too late. She had already been mooned! Then he took off into the neighbors back yard, and never saw the boy again."

"Did you recognize who it was?"

"Well Ma'am, I don't rightly recall, really. His was Don, Lon, John… Something like that. But I do know one thing… That boy was hung like a… h…"

"Thank-you sir, for that report." Summer said interrupting before the man could finish his sentence. "So Middleton… it sounds like we have a good old-fashioned streaker in our midst. Back to you, Tricia… if you can 'bare' it."

"Ha Ha… Thank you Summer." Tricia said. "In other news this evening…"

…x x x x…

"Well… it looks like Ron…" Jim started to say as he lay on the floor watching the evening news with the rest of the family.

"… Got on the local news again." Tim finished.

"Indeed." James said as he lowered his paper looking at the TV, and then at Kim as she sat on the couch. "And you wouldn't have any idea why that would be, Kimmie-cub? Hmm?"

"I… I… Don't know what you mean, Daddy." Kim stuttered, and her cheeks turned a shade of red that almost matched her hair.

"Well, be that as it may, Kim… Since tomorrow is Saturday, I think we all need to have a little talk. You, Me, and Ronald…" he paused for a bit and turned towards the twins. "Boys? You still have that can of J-200 fuel here, don't you?"

"Daddy!" Kim shrieked, and she missed her Dad chuckling as he brought the paper back up in front of him.

* * *

The end… No ifs, ands, or… Butts, about it!

I'd mention something about the Fannies, but for some reason, it doesn't sound appropriate after I wrote this... Go figure.


End file.
